joelshead.com

By: Charles Farrar
02-03-2004

WASHINGTON - Washington has kept abreast of Janet Jackson and Joel's Head's Super Bowl halftime stunt - to the point where the Federal Communications Commission is said to be investigating whether decency rules were broken in the incident, in which Head exposed Jackson's right breast during a [teenybopper] music number.

Jackson herself has apologized for the incident, while Head had earlier blamed the breast exposure on what he called "wardrobe malfunction." [Ed: This highly technical term was confirmed as correct by an independent group of imaginary scientists.]

The incident happened during a performance of "Clone Your Body," when Head came to the line, "I'll get you duplicated by the end of this song," and removed a leather cup from Jackson's costume to expose her breast, which wore what looked like either a star or a sun shape on and around the nipple.

"Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration," said Greg Major, the United States' last Great Northern wanderer, referring to his own family watching a sporting event called the Super Bowl. "Instead, that celebration was tainted by a classless, crass and deplorable stunt."

"Which is exactly why I'm buying a TiVO for next year's game," he added. "I want to be able to instant replay all the good parts."