Act Now!
Patented New Electro-Suck-O-Matic-Tron-Inator Solves All Your Hairdo Problems!
Trims hair!
Curls hair!
Cleans and dries hair!
Injects IQ-enhancing proteins directly into your skull!
Looks nifty!
ONLY $1,499.99!
While supplies last! Operators are standing by! Not legal in most states!