FCC/IRU vs JHL Trial
Starts Today
TEXAS, September 24
/PRNewswire/ -- Despite numerous delays, the FCC/IRU vs JHL trial
started this morning as the jury heard opening arguments from both
sides.
"JHL's opening argument was
impressive, but sort of hard to follow. I didn't understand most of
what they were talking about.", claimed John Kirshlaw who came
to watch the proceedings. "The IRU or, err... FCC. Is that right?
It is IRU, isn't it? Anyway, their opening argument was filled with
passion and they didn't use so many big words. I'd give it a thumbs
up!"
Joel's Head Laboratories legal representative,
Truman "El Filtro" dePlada announced that JHL's defense
will be "simple and to the point". "We are extremely
confident that the outcome will be in our favor. We have put a unique
strategy in to motion that should easily secure a 'not guilty' vote
from the jury."
In response, IRU CEO Dave Abbott stated,
"I don't know why they're so confident. The evidence is absolutely
overwhelming! We've got literally thousands of signed documents, tissue
samples, those little wind-up toys they claim don't explode when you
play with them on shag carpet, but they do, and more that prove beyond
a reasonable doubt that JHL is guilty. JHL has literally built their
company on the blood and bones of their competition and
it has to stop. These people are animals and it's up to us to shut
them down!"
Industry insiders close to both JHL and IRU
have little to say at this point. One anonymous source did, however,
state, "This should be an interesting trial. There's some speculation,
but it's obviously too early to make the call at this point. The stress
at JHL is real though. You can see it throughout the organization.
It starts at the top and moves all the way down to the lowest men
on the totem pole. You know, guys like the Press Editor and such."
Based in Houston, TX, Joel's Head Laboratories
is the leading provider of fine Joel's Head products. Visit JHL's
web site at www.joelshead.com
Founded in 1999 and also based in Houston,
Texas, Innovative Rasterizers Unlimited is a leading force in the
cutting-edge Big Sinking Ship Movies with Different Peoples' Heads
on The Actors industry.
SOURCE Associated Press
EDITOR'S COMMENT
Actually, my official title is "Web Content Editor", jerk.
